Friend dating your ex
The question is whether you can act on that sweet sound of "click." First and foremost, let's make sure you have good intentions. You're the smartest, funniest and best dressed at the office—everyone is mad crushing on you. Gee whiz, that hottie friend of your ex seems to notice . It's a mess to be sure, but that's different than being a horrible person We don’t own people; we just share our time with them . A great relationship, and great chemistry between two people, can be rare to come by. Said ex probably likes people who share similar qualities (mountain biking! ) and you guys have probably all pal-ed around together for months, maybe even years; it makes that you might be attracted to ex's friend. For all you know, your ex just wasn't that into it and might be stoked to see you move on to someone who's better suited for you. Accusations and tears may flow as freely as the alcohol that you're likely consuming. Don't self loathe, wallow or spiral into misery, that's not gonna make anyone's pain go away and it sure as hell isn't going to pave a smooth foundation for your new love-fest. If I break up with someone — and I have broken up and been broken up with a lot — I have no problem with any of my friends dating my ex, falling in love with her and even marrying her.
The reality is that it’s just too weird and uncomfortable for most people to want to deal with.” Therapist Karen Sherman agrees.
“Of course now looking back I think it was wrong, but sometimes you just want to do something reckless and don’t think of the outcome. I also think it depends on how close you and your friend are.
If you’ve drifted apart and haven’t seen each other in years then I think it’s okay.” So there you have it, a pretty mixed bag all in all, but nearly everyone agreed that it depends on the situation, so if you find yourself looking at your pal's ex differently we'd recommend speaking to your friend about it first before acting on your feelings.
He was severely emotionally abusive, manipulative and generally treated me like crap for the whole three years we were together. Everyone in my life eventually found out and got me to leave him. So, you were right to acknowledge that it wasn’t the “ex-factor” that made you angry. Unfortunately, this is NOT a normal situation and is in no way a run-of-the-mill case of “la la la my friend wants to date my ex boyfriend and now I’m annoyed! This girl is supposed to be YOUR friend and KNOWS that this asshat was ABUSIVE to her best friend. Under what circumstances is your friend even SPEAKING to this freak show, let alone dating him? She’s clearly being heavily manipulated, and is falling for it. Your ex is not the only one who is bad for you anymore. It’s hard to watch someone screw up their own life. All at once you want to knock some sense into her for being such an idiot, and punch her for dating your ex boyfriend. Through her actions, she's essentially saying that she has no self-worth, that she doesn't give a f*ck about you went through as an abuse survivor, and she cares more about this guy than she does about you. Honestly, this was likely the final nail in the coffin.
I’m now in a happy relationship with a wonderful guy and I have everything on track. She was one of the people who encouraged you to get away from him and now she’s going to play house? (Something you and she both know this dude is famous for). It’s a mixture of anger, pity, rejection and frustration. So, while the emotions may be running high, and you’re feeling a lot of feelings, I think you have to remove yourself entirely. She’s holding onto a part of your life that is still very painful for you. I’m sure this is not the first time this friend has done something shady or put a guy before your friendship.